Friday, July 24, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
So between insomnia and occasional post-exertional malaise it is no wonder that I am tired all the time. I fear that in addition to my already reserved disposition my fatigue only makes me seem more aloof. Perhaps I should wear a button, “Please excuse me, I’m not a snob, I’m just very tired.”
However, in my constant quest for answers I have found hope. It comes from a book I’ve discovered, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Fighting Fatigue by Nadine Saubers. The book describes exactly what I’m going through. It provides good, practical advice about pacing, graded exercise, and maintaining a healthy energy bank account.
Good health is such a glorious thing. For those who are blessed to have it, it is easy to take it for granted. Some of us have to fight for it but it is worth the battle.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Mr. Konno holds a photo of his recently deceased wife
Masago gave me a kimono.
At the Moses Park
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
It was wonderful to spend time with Henry and deepen our bond with him. Of course we loved being with Sarah as well. Andrew stayed home for most of the week due to some important meetings he needed to attend but we were fortunate to have a couple days with him too.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Shame-based Christianity is fed by a tiresome round of “I’ve got to do better…I must try harder…I’m not doing enough.” It promotes the temptation to believe that I am better and everyone else is worse. Shame-based Christianity is suffocating; it chokes the life out of you. It is like stumbling around in gloomy places with a ball and chain. I can’t bear it.
There was a difficult time in my life when God seemed absent. I was entrapped in the dark pit of depression. But through that experience, God taught me that He not only saves us by grace but helps us to live by grace as well.
Grace-based Christianity is so wonderful. It is freeing and joyful. Grace-based preaching/teaching is like soothing balm for the soul. It celebrates love and mercy. You live your life motivated by love. You can be yourself and God works through you as an individual, yet you also find joy in community. It is like frolicking on a mountain meadow full of wildflowers under a warm sun and bright blue sky.
I cannot tolerate going to a church that emphasizes shame-based Christianity over grace-based Christianity. Our family spent an entire year looking for a church home several years ago. My chief criterion was a church that communicates grace or at least is led by people who communicate grace. It is amazing how difficult that is to find. We finally found such a church. Now we are contemplating being part of a church plant from this church on our side of town. I hesitate to be a part of it because I fear the possibility of the absence of grace-based leadership. If that is how it ends up…I just can’t go there…literally and figuratively.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
I am an avid figure skating fan. As many people like to watch football games, I love to watch figure skating competitions. The combination of athleticism and art draws me to it. I recall delightful times of skating on ponds and rinks when I was young but I never had the opportunity to go beyond that. Nevertheless, following the sport of figure skating is a hobby that I enjoy.
Ice dancing is my favorite event. The art and romance of it create a beautiful drama on ice and of all the figure skating disciplines it showcases more maturity and expression. The ice dancers tend to be older than the others. Continuing with my predilection for romance, pairs is my second favorite. Also, their stunts are risky, exciting and breathtaking. The men's event is my third favorite because I think men are interesting. My least favorite, ironically the most popular, is the ladies event. It seems that the women tend to peak at a very young age, around 15, and although they are very good, they lack the maturity of expression that makes figure skating so satisfying to watch.
Therefore, I was delighted to see twenty-one year old Alissa Czisny skate well and win the Ladies US national competition. I have admired her skating over the past five years or so but it has been painful to watch her struggle to rise to the top. Thus it was gratifying to see her win the fruit of her perseverance last weekend. Her quote in my local newspaper inspires me.
Throughout the years there 's been a lot of disappointments and hard times. I think I've been able to take all of them and learn from them. It's made me a better person, it's made me a better skater and I've learned a lot, a lot about life.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I am probably repeating the obvious but I am optimistic that Barak Obama’s Presidency will cause a dramatic decrease in racism in this country. I believe that it will gradually fade away without a lot of fanfare. The widespread reality of having a black president will infuse people’s consciousness and sub-consciousness leading to a breakdown in prejudicial thinking.
Part of the reason I believe this is because of something that happened to me when I was a young girl. It may be frivolous to compare my situation to the profoundly difficult experience of many people. However, when I was young, kids teased me about my name. I disliked being singled out and scorned for any reason so it hurt me when kids taunted me saying, “Jackie is a boy’s name.” However, when John F. Kennedy began his race for the White House and he and his wife grew in popularity, kids ceased to make fun of my name. It just never came up anymore.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
The downside is that I struggle with insomnia again. The Surmontil did do a great job of keeping my insomnia at bay. However, if given a choice, I'd take insomnia over fibromyalgia any day. I just feel bad that none of my doctors were aware that there may be a link between the drug and my fibromyalgia symptoms. It was a good medication for me short term but I really wish one of my doctors would have seen the wisdom of discontinuing it after say--five years or so. Instead, the doctor who first prescribed it told me I could safely be on it for the rest of my life. I guess physicians really don't know pharmaceutical agents that well. I feel sad that I inadvertantly poisoned myself for all those years thus dimishing the quality of my life during that time.